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Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
5:30 pm - OH Sabata

bleedingxinside
You have no idea how much i relate to what you say. It means so much that you would tell me all that you have. It seems so terrible that all of that seemed to happen to you. I can't wait till we can be together for longer than we are now.I just can't.. I'm feel so happy for some reason, Sabata. Like a great weight has been lifted off of me. While I'm upset i lost a friends, its a natural part of life, and like you said eventually we will probably be friends again. Might as well enjoy the break. HEHE! I absolutly love this feeling! i love you! it needs to be tomorrow!

I have a popcorn kernal stuck in my teeth and its really annoying me.

(What Have I Done?)

Monday, January 10th, 2005
7:34 pm - I want to be there, be lying behind you, holding you close when you awake from those dreams.........

master_sabata
You should tell me your dreams. You mustn't worry about scaring me, nor embarrassing yourself. Really talking this out will help. I don't want you waking up in cold sweats anymore, I don't want to worry about you anymore my dear. I just want you to be happy again. I want you to have your old fun dreams, your wild and funny dreams. I want you to sleep peacefully and get all the rest you need, and I don't want you to have to wait untill I am sleeping next to you, for those dreams to stop.
I am so sorry that I can't help more than this. Im doing everything I can, really I am. I just want to help so badly, and I know that we can make all this better in time.
I love you dear, and I will always love you. No matter what. I know that we'll fix this all. I love you with all my heart...

(What Have I Done?)

7:06 pm - Oh These Nightmares

bleedingxinside
Sabata, dear Sabata. I have been longing to tell you about my dreams, but I don't want to scare you. I don't want to embarrass myself. I was never there. I don't know exactly what went on. Only my sick version, which I don't know if they are blown out of porportion or not enough. There are very few words to express my feelings. Which are terror. I wake up in cold sweats on good nights, love. I think I know why I been bothered so much by it as well.

Because I never told anyone about my dreams. Thats just what I think. They just sit there and fester and grow, like a virus. Duplicating themselves. Everynight was getting worse and worse. Until that night we told expressed ourselves even more to eachother. The night we started our journals. The dreams stopped for a whille. A few days later they came back. I never told you about my dreams, Sabata.

The untamed, scary mind. What an endless horizon our minds are.

♥ Yumi

current mood: scared

(What Have I Done?)

5:38 pm - My sweet, My lovely, My Yumi. The one star in the night that is my life.

master_sabata
It's ok about your last entry my lovely. I really like that song as well. I was listening to it alot earlier this evening. Im glad that my letter cheered you up. It was meerly me expressing my thoughts in the best way I could though. I deserve no thanks. Hehe. I see you can't stop thinking about me without clothes, heh I do the same about you. Gosh you have a gorgeous body. Everything about it is just ever so amazing. You are just the perfect girl my dear. Your mind is sharp as a tack, youre body beautifull as the night sky, your voice like that of an angel. Gosh I just can't beleive that you are so amazing. You know whats more amazing though? that a perfect soul like you loves me. Gosh I feel so blessed to have you. Don't worry about your entry's being "off". Heh I have entry's like that myself, we both know we think that way (^_~) hehe. I love you so much my lovely. You are the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. I really can't wait to start a familly with you my sweet. It will be ever so nice. Gosh I can't stop thinking about it. Ehehehe sorry if Im thiking to far ahead, I just really like the though of us having, and being a familly. Well Im gonna go. Till next we meet... my sweetest.... I love you..

(What Have I Done?)

Sunday, January 9th, 2005
10:00 pm - When Love Can Never Break.

bleedingxinside
Dearest Sabata,

Sorry my last entry was kind of sloppy. I love this song, and your last letter has cheered me up, alot. Thank you Sabata. Thank you alot, my lover. I swear everytime i hear this song it makes me think of you. I also found out, Sabata, that I did hear this song, before you showed it to me. Yay.

Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel

Touching you, touching me
touching you, god you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh!

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!

Touching you, touching me
touching you, god you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Guitar!

Touching you, touching me
touching you, god you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh!

You know that song don't ya Sabata? Its all about you, don't you know. I guess it just reminds me of summer. Seriously. Think about it Sabata, all these new feelings we had. Touching you, Touching me, Touching you, God your touching me. Oh God Sabata, I swear I thought that exact thing. Oh Sabata, I'm so giddy right now! I keep thinking about you, with nothing on.

Sorry I'm kind of off, Sabata, I can't help it. I can't believe you dont know how fucking hot you are. No Shirt, Chain, low pants, so the top of your boxers are showing, god its enough to kill me Sabata. Maybe I should stop thinking about that eh>? Sorry If my last few sentences were kind of off Sabata, Thats just what I can't help thinking about. Damn!

current mood: giddy

(What Have I Done?)

9:48 pm - Oh my love, my sweet sweet Yumi, you think you hurt me, but really.. you set me free.

master_sabata
Hun your letter didn't hurt me in the least bit. It really did make me feel good. It showed you cared, showed how much you love me, and how much I mean to you. It made me feel so great.
I really cannot wait to go to school with you, let along live with you. Both will be amazing expiriences and both make me so giddy to think about. Yes, I said giddy. Ehehe. Anyways I must say I will really enjoy school with you. I can't wait to meet up with you every moring before class, then eat lunch with ya, and then spend time after school. Gosh it will really be great. It will help me at school to, because now, at school, I get so lonely and sad... but there I know I'll be seeing you in just an hour or so, and it'll makes things a WHOLE lot more bearable. Because currently, they aren't. I hate leaving you, it makes me so sad. Whenever Ieave your house, or you get picked up, I just want to (and most of the time do) burst into tears. When we live together, I promise life will be alot better than it is now. I'll always be sleeping right behind you when you have a bad dream, I'll always be just inches away when you need a shoulder to cry on. I know it wont solve everything, but it'll help alot, I know it. I know how you feel about the love songs babe. Alot of songs remind me of you as well. Not really even set ones, just randomly sometimes I'll hear a song, and think of you instantly, and it makes me tear up.
Someday I know that feeling will go away. I was unhappy with you around, cus I didn't tell you my problems, and it hurt to keep things from you, but I just didn't wanna scare you off, so I kept to myself. Now that I've told you it all, and we've talked it out, I feel so much better. You've taken ever so much weight off my shoulders. Gosh I felt like Atlas with how much I was carrying, but you came along, and just took it all away, and I feel just.. wonderfull. (heh and the backrubs helped too) but really, you've just made my life so perfect, you really shouldnt be sad. You've taken all my negative feelings and just.. turned them to happiness.
Baby, you really shouldn't worry about my friends. I really hate them. If they would do what they did to me, for going out with a person of my choosing, I don't want them as friends anyways. Really I don't want you feeling bad over that. It WASN'T YOUR FAULT. They said they were fine with you, but I decided to leave anyways, cus they are all jerks. So please don't think that your fault. Im sorry I was running babe. I had alot to run from... but you've taken that all away, and I don't have to run anylonger. We can settle down now.. and plant our garden.. for never again will I have to run.......

(What Have I Done?)

9:08 pm

bleedingxinside
I feel bad about the letter Sabata. I know you told me it was ok, and it made you happy. I just wish, i could stop making this hurt so much. You should post that letter, change the names though.... but... i... i just wish i could stop getting so scared and jealous. i love you. I can't wait till we can live together.

Is it too soon to think about that Sabata? Is it? I can't wait till you'll be going to school with me, Sabata. I really can't. I can't wait to see you everyday, cuddle with you everyday, tell you each day, that I'll see you the next day. Its going to be so nice. I won't feel so lonely during class. I'm never happy when you leave anymore. Before, Sabata, my love, its been bearable. ITs not anymore. I wish it just would be again. I miss laying with you, feeling you next to me, behind me holding me. Touching my skin.

Sabata, so many love songs remind me of you. I can't stop reminding myself that your not here. We aren't together. We aren't watching the rain are we? No. Its not even raining here. Let us Cultivate our garden, Sabata. I wish I could. But I'm out of water.

Oh. Oh. i can;t make this wreched feeling disapear from my mind. I've been getting so scared lately Sabata. Well I've been hapy we were opening up. I guess sometimes i just feel bad. That you were unhappy, even when i was there. I guess im happy that we are together, and happy and telling eachother everything... it makes me so happy... but when i think about you being unhappy i just break down into tears, and it makes me think your so upset that you might... you know... i know you wouldn't but i just always convince myself its been my fault all along. My fault about yuor friends, no matter how bad of friends they were, we cant deny that it was , my fault u lost them as friends, it doesnt matter if it woulda happened earlier Sabata, because either way, it was my fault. I didnt mean to make you unhappy for the rest of the school year until recently. I'm sorry you were running away. I was chasing you the whole time.

current mood: depressed

(What Have I Done?)

Saturday, January 8th, 2005
12:25 am - Past... that word....heh.. I could live without it..

master_sabata
I think your right babe. Heh you are so smart! Im proud of you, that sounds just spot on. Hehe and you say you aren't smart! I scoff at that! You are brilliant! But really, we can't always expect to be happy, all we can do, is know that when we get unhappy, were always gonna be there for eachother, to make the other happy again.

About Ryan.
I feel terrible. I hate myself for comming between two friends. I hate to sound as greedy as I do, but it bugs me that I fee like this is a three way relationship. Like you love me, and I love you, AND he loves you. I seem like such an ass saying that. It is just how I truly feel. It's not like you spend to much time with him, or that Im worried you two will do something, cus Im really not, I trust you too much to think that. I just, I don't know. I don't know how to feel around him. Weather to feel bad for him losing his girlfriends alot, and all his random problems.. or to feel threatend cus it always seems like he's (pardon the bad example) always trying to move in on my turf... and it really really bugs me. I guess thats all. I love you hun... Ever so much..

(What Have I Done?)

Friday, January 7th, 2005
11:36 pm - Lovely Sabata, and Friend

bleedingxinside
Hello again Sabata. I am writing to you.. because I just realized something.

Earler months, I realized why we never wanted to tell eachother we were sad and depressed. Well of course, Sabata, the whole feelings thing comes into play. but you know what else? The thing that really got to me? Sabata, I realized that I was trying to convince myself otherwords, because I thought, that you were supposed to be happy all the time. well, Sabata, doesn't that sound like it is totally right? It did to me,. Then again my love, my Sabata, your more logical and smarter than I.

then I realized, Sabata.That thaat is impossible. No one can be happy ALL the time, not without lying to themselves and others, and only deepening the depression hole of doom. So really, any budding couple, that thinks they will be happy all the time, should know that they won't. Because that is achieving the impossible. Its either for, friends, family, past, fights. Bad things start with F don't thy Sababta? Wait no... I can think of one good word. Do you know what word I'm thinking about Sababta (^_^)

Oh about Ryan Sabata, gosh, about Ryan. I'm sorryhe is acting so weird. It's making me feel a tad uncomfortable when he asks me to do stuff, don't ever tell him Sabata. I just, get this odd feeling about it. Like hes interested in me or something. Maybe he is maybe he isn't It's jsut weird. I'm sorry your jealous. I'm trying to keep my distance with him, without being a total bitch. What do you want me to do about it Sabata,?

(What Have I Done?)

10:44 pm - I remember. It seems so long ago. Then again, I guess it kind of has been.

master_sabata
I remember those days. Heh I remember when we fought over who was "Cuter" or "Cooler". I remember our first trip to the mall, when we both we red as could be, and couldn't look eachother in the eye without looking like beets. Remember when we first held hands? I nearly had a heart attack when I ever so lightly set my hand upon yours. It was such a sweet time.
Gosh I remember asking you out. I was so nervous. I though you were going to reject me. I wasn't that interesting, and I was so sure you'd say no. Since that night, you have made my life bliss. Just ever so perfect. Without you, I would no longer be of this earth. Thank you babe. Hehe I was very interested, for such a long time. You have no idea, gosh everyday we talked for hours, I would like you more and more. I'm good at hiding my feelings, because I've had to for so long, but I'm letting them all out for you. Just for you my dear.
Im sorry about the whole kaitlyn thing. I didn't mean for it to turn out the way it did. I just wanted a new freind, and rumors got started, and just, argh, it started a huge fight. Im sorry for ever leaving you my dear. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I wanted to die when I did that. Im ever so sorry. I love you hun.

I like the feeling of living as well, but, only with you in it.

I feel the same. I love living with your, for you, and for only you always and forever. No one else. I promise you.... Until we meet again my dear. Farewell......

(What Have I Done?)

5:01 pm - Dear Sabata, Dear Sweet Sabata

bleedingxinside
Do you remember those innocent days? The cute way we would compliment eachother and all of a sudden, we would both be bright red. Sabata, it makes me remember those good old days. The summer days. I wish we could see them all over again. Like a movie. Sabata, do you remember our nervous sweaty palms? Holding one another at a 4:00 movie. Staying up until 5 am, Iming eachother, or talking on the phone, about the most random and unneccisery things in life You nervous laughs, that always made me giggle. What a great time, We had then Sabata. I miss those days. Of being free everyday. Talking everyday, all day.

I didn't even dream of cutting, or remember it for that matter. I made myself forget, I was too happy to even want to. I had even forgotten alot of bad stuff that happened in 7th grade. I dont know how much better I made your life, Sabata, When you first nervously asked me that early morning, of June 14th at 4:12 am. I still remember your unsure nervous tone of voice.

Sabata, I was so shocked you even asked me out that night. I didn't think you were interested. I know I was... kind of obvious for a little while*blushes*, but Sabata, you can sure hide your feelings well. I suppose its not the best thing at times though, is it Sabata?

I remember how jealous i got when school started again. Of Kaitlyn, I could tell she liked you Sabata. You must have been dense to not realize it, Oh Sabata, I'm only kidding. I never even talked to her and it was obvious. You saw her all the time. I was all alone here. I didn't want to say a word. I tried ignoring it. I thought maybe I was just freaking out like i did with Beth, my love, my Sabata. Jealousy can be hard to ignore. I have a confession to make Sabata. I tried to cut myself. The night we seperated. I *thought* i knew it was for her. (The rumors didnt help...) I wasn't trying to do it for you. I was mad at myself. I knew i deserved it. I ignored how i felt. and didn't even ask about kaitlyn. I felt all numb. The first few hours after, i couldn't feel anything. I felt... numb. Pure numbness. Like. So insanly sad I was laughing. I couldn't stop myself. My whle body like fell asleep. I just wanted to feel bad about it, instead of being so sad i was actually happy. I guess you know how that feels. I won't talk about it any longer, I"m sure yours was much worse Sabata, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I'm sorry Sabata.

I like this feeling. Living. Don't year Sabata? Living can be so nice. Living is nice, because you can only do it once.

I like living, with you, for you, and only you, always Sabata, always

current mood: apathetic

(What Have I Done?)

4:25 pm - My dear, here is why snow, and love are so alike..

master_sabata
Well it really is like snow. On the surface, it seems so inconvenient, so un necisary, but looking deep, you find all the wonderous things about it. Like the feeling of cuddling up on a cold winter day or the feeling of watching a single snow flake fall onto your palm. So many people jsut look at the surface of love, much like snow, and don't get all the amazing beauty behind it. Thats what I thought anyways.
I loke the way you think of it, it makes more sense than mine. Though I guess we're really saying the same thing, well in a way. Anywyas you made perfect sense my sweet yumi.Im glad you wanted to carry some of the weight. It means alot to me that you would care enough to do that, and I'd do the same for you. I can't say that Im glad you had nightmares, but it really showes how much you cared then, and how much you do now. It really did hurt alot. More than I think I can ever describe in words, but, with your help I have begun feeling ever so much better about what happend long ago.
It really is funny, how we would tell eachoter small peices of the truth, like "I smoked" well, yeah I did but I didn't tell you it was for close to two years. Im glad we've told eachother the truth now though, it feels good to know that you would tell me such sensative information. We are quite close my dear,, so close that it's not near impossible to separate, it IS impossible... I love now you and forever my sweetest.
I like how you say "it's like were swen together" it fits just perfectly, cus it really is like that. Heh it is a thick string my dear, andit shall never, ever be cut.

Love is something all to often overlooked. Maybe we'll make them see. Just maybe...

(What Have I Done?)

12:08 am - Oh Sabata, Sweet Sabata, Doll Me

bleedingxinside
Sabata, how is love like snow? Snow... only seems to melt away, when spring comes. Is that what you are suggesting? Maybe I'm only reaching on the surface of this question. Explain to me? ^_^

Dear me Sabata, my love. Your views on bondage were correct. I thinkof bondage a different way, kind of. I think that the idea of you, Sabata, controlling me. Not taking advantage of that control, but controlling me. Being your doll. It excites me. To know you won't take advantage of the control you have. Sabata. I trust you won't, I won't even question it. I turst you enough to know you won't. You'll touch me, hold me, be one with me Sabata. We will be one. Even though your controlling me. do I make any sense? I hope I'm not getting you completly lost in my thoughts, love, Sabata.

My secret. You said you were ready. I sure hope so. When you first told me you cut.I kept getting horrible nightmares. It felt like I was feeling your pain, Sabata. All those nightmares I had, were about you. I woud get nightmares about seeing Rissa take advantage of you at knife-point, getting raped, cutting yourself, Sabata, my truest deepest love, I had dreams , about trying to contemplate how much you hurt then.
I couldn't imagine the weight of all of it. I just wanted to badly to take some of it off of your shoulders. Sabata, I had those dreams, because I wanted to take it away so bad. It be able to tell you that I knew how you felt. Of course I know I never will. I can't imagine the pain, not the pain, the numbness. Which is even worse. Its like.. the infinate pain. Was it like that Sabata, or am i on the wrong track? No matter, I was sure feeling something, Sabata. I hope you don't blame yourself. I don't. i don't blame anyone. I wanted to take some of the hurting away.

Its so funny Sabata. How we slowly inched our way closer to this point in our relationship. Slowly told eachother a small bite of the big truth. The bites got bigger, now we are here. so close it seems near impossible to seperate.

Its like we are sewn together so tightly with trust, we might as well be one. We are, Sabata. I think we are. And on top of that trust string, it is protected by our love. It must be a pretty thick string, eh Sabata?

♥ Yumi

(What Have I Done?)

Thursday, January 6th, 2005
11:48 pm - Yumi. I had a broken heart. Im glad you were there, to sew it back together, with peices of your own

master_sabata
I admit. It is nice sharing everything with someone. It's so much easier to feel good about your bad expiriences, when some one can relate, or even if they can't, if they just care enough to listin. Like you my dear. I don't mind you asking me questions, I want you to hear it all. Every bit. You don't make me feel bad by making me answer things, you make me feel good, by listening. Thank you dear.
You're right my dear, alot of it involves knives, I think it's what founded my odd liking for them. Heh, you ask if I was dead inside at one time... You.. you might be scared if I told ya. I lost myself for a long time. Remeber when I cut? I did that, partially, to stay me. It's the only way I could feel something, anything. Emotions, feelings, I was devoid of them. When I cut, I knew I was still alive, still on this earth and not in some terrible hell. I just.. wanted to feel.. Pain still does loom in me, but you aleviate it.. you just.. your presence sweeps across me like a sweet wind, blowing away the smell of the festering pain that dwelled deep inside. (notice the past tense there).
When I cut, I had many reasons really. I explained one above, I needed it to make sure I was still here. When you stop feeling everything, love for your parents, hate for your rapists, lonesomeness faded away, love hate fear, just everything faded, till I was just a shell, and cutting, let me escape that. I cut myself to control pain as well. I felt, if I had so much pain in my life. I could at least control some of it. Pain has kind of lost it's edge on me. I think, the only real pain I feel anymore is my heart, my mind.. just all my soul when you aren't around, or when Im worried about you.
All truths be told though, I rather like pain again, but like you not in the same way. I love the feeling of your nails digging into me, or your teeth sinking into me. It feels like we can't connect anymore at that point, sharing everything, love and pain, and all in the most wonderous of ways.
Oh, and my thoughts on bondage.
I was thinking about it the other day, and I think I can explain why I like it. It's all the excitement of being in a sexual situation, where you have no control,while being in the hands of a loved one, who you know, no matter how hard the bondage is, is still being tender and loving and carefull. I don't know if Im right, that just seemed to make sense to me.

I'd love to hear your secret. please, do tell. Im more than ready.

Sometimes love is like winter snow... think about it...

(What Have I Done?)

11:22 pm - Dear Sabata, How I Love You

bleedingxinside
Sabata, I love your name
I love you!
I love sharing all of these secrets to you

Hell, sweet Sabata, I love being ashamed together, being regretful together, being sad together, Talking together.

I always feel so bad. I ask you questions. You just answer them. I dont want to make you feel bad.
I'm sorry to admit this aloud, Sabata, but you have a terrible past alot of it involves knives... I'm suprised your not dead inside... were you at one time?

I was. Being ashamed of stuff sucks the big one.. pain...Sabata, Do you remember pain? It looms in us all. all the time.

I guess thats why i cut. To escape my pain. To control it. Its like magic isn't it, Sabata? How good pain can feel sometimes. Pain doesn't affect me much anymore. Infact. sometimes I just crave pain. Not in the form of a knife or a pin. Not cutting. I'm done with depressed controlling pain.

Its not even a bad pain. Its a sexual pain. Biting. Bondage. Heh. Subject change is always nice. Sorry Sabata, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to explain myself.

I understand why you started cutting. I really do. I have a secret for you Sabata. I just don't want to make you feel like whenyou tell me things, it hurts me. Its not that way. Are you Ready Sabata?

♥ Yumi ♣

current mood: anxious

(What Have I Done?)

11:25 pm - My love, My confessions, and everything inbetween...

master_sabata
I feel alot better to. Especially about being raped agian. It felt so good to get that off my chest to someone. I know how you feel getting all the things you said off your chest. Im sorry I said that ever so long ago. I hadn't known your past, and I hadn't meant to make it so harsh. I just can't stand drugs, they really bother me. I don't mind your past though, as long as you aren't doing it now (which I know you aren't). Im very glad that you will never do that again, it makes me feel good to know that. I love you too my dear Yumi.
I understand perfectly dear, and Im more than ready to listen, you know I always have been, and always will be here to listen to anything and everything you ever have to say. One thing I noticed, was that all your problems seem to lead from drugs, and all of mine (or well, most really) have come from sexual things. Heh, I dunno,it's just odd.

We can discuss cutting it you want my dear, feel free to ask me anything you want. Im more than abliged to answer.


I love you my rose... my beautifull..... beautifull blooming rose..

(What Have I Done?)

10:54 pm - Dear Sabata

bleedingxinside
HAHA! Yes your so right, my dear Sabata.

I hate regret. Its really useless but necissery. Do you understand? Sabata, I'm feeling so much better. Now that mostly everything is out on the table. It's a load off one's chest. To have someone know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. You told me a long time ago, Sabata, that if i ever did drugs, you wouldn't love me anymore. It scared me to death. Keeping it hiden was all i could do. It killed me inside everytime i thought of it.

i havn't since a looong loong time. The last time, which I was pressures into (LIKE ALICE) was and always WILL BE my last time. Even if we weren't together, I wouldnt ever try them again.

Sabata! I love you dearly.

I guess with me, i don't like dwelling on something, unless its bothering me, and then I just have to dwell until someone is ready enough to listen to me, so i can stop. do you understand me Sabata? Or is this just illogical?

Oh dear. Oh Sabata. Cutting. A Topic we must discuss sometime.

♥ Yumi

current mood: curious

(What Have I Done?)

10:45 pm - My love, we seem to have had our share of bad expiriences. I wonder why were such good people?

master_sabata
Thank you for telling me everything hun.
I think in middle school, neither of us really knew where we belonged, and we just went with what we thought we wanted. It is the past though, and we shouldn't focus on it. While we should continue to talk about it, and admit our misdeads, so as to know everything about eachother but, just because we talk about them them, doesn't mean we should dwell on them at the same time. Im still very glad you stopped doing pot though. By the way my dear,that isn't annorexia, though it is a form of sickness. It's addiction. People say you can't get addicted to pot, and you can't, not to pot, but to the feeling of it, and it can be, and is very addicting. I'm glad you decided to come down the right path, even if it was after 5 wrong ones. I hope, with me around, you will never stray from the right path again my dear. I don't beleive you shall though. Because I believe in you, and trust you my love. Remember, we have all made bad choices, but we don't have to live with it forever. I have a feeling, that talking about our pasts with eachother, will help us get over what we have done, and the choices we have made. Just think, how can we dwell on our pasts so much, when we have such a grand and beautifull future, down the right path. Together.

(What Have I Done?)

10:29 pm - Dear Sabata

bleedingxinside
To Answer your question.. No. I have told you everything. Well I will, im not done will my story. I made some bad choices in HS too. I respect you Sabata. You and your clean bloodstream. lol. Well obviously traces are gone. I still wish i hadn't, Sabata. Why was it middle school we made so many bad choices. So many things we did wrong. Do we have to regret things forever?

Sabata, my dear Sabata.
Have ever told you I was jealous of your past? Have you ever wondered why?

I went down the wrong path Sabata, like you. I went down the wrong path, like 5 times. You at least were getting money. Maybe not the best way, better than starving yourself. Sabata, 8th grade, my clean year, I ate. A little more than normal. Not like a horse or anything. I'm still suffering. I can't believe i ever stopped eating, for drug money! Was I sick? Is that Annorexic?

♥ Yumi

current mood: blank

(What Have I Done?)

10:02 pm

master_sabata
Well Dear Yumi,
I have told you my entire life story, every bit of it that matters anyways. If you have more questions.. Don't be afraid to ask! Hehe I love you and will tell you anything. I didn't know the man though, in 6th grade I was in a Mc.D's and I went to use the restroom... he.. held me there... at knife point.. and threatend me, saying if I went to anyone, he'd hurt me and the friend I was with.. so I let him do what he wanted.. and never saw him again. When I came out crying I told people I had fell and hurt myself was all. Well I just want to know the same thing you asked me.. Untill you write again my dear.. I send my love.. and await your response...

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