Yumi (bleedingxinside) wrote in letterstosabata,

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Dear Sabata, Dear Sweet Sabata

Do you remember those innocent days? The cute way we would compliment eachother and all of a sudden, we would both be bright red. Sabata, it makes me remember those good old days. The summer days. I wish we could see them all over again. Like a movie. Sabata, do you remember our nervous sweaty palms? Holding one another at a 4:00 movie. Staying up until 5 am, Iming eachother, or talking on the phone, about the most random and unneccisery things in life You nervous laughs, that always made me giggle. What a great time, We had then Sabata. I miss those days. Of being free everyday. Talking everyday, all day.

I didn't even dream of cutting, or remember it for that matter. I made myself forget, I was too happy to even want to. I had even forgotten alot of bad stuff that happened in 7th grade. I dont know how much better I made your life, Sabata, When you first nervously asked me that early morning, of June 14th at 4:12 am. I still remember your unsure nervous tone of voice.

Sabata, I was so shocked you even asked me out that night. I didn't think you were interested. I know I was... kind of obvious for a little while*blushes*, but Sabata, you can sure hide your feelings well. I suppose its not the best thing at times though, is it Sabata?

I remember how jealous i got when school started again. Of Kaitlyn, I could tell she liked you Sabata. You must have been dense to not realize it, Oh Sabata, I'm only kidding. I never even talked to her and it was obvious. You saw her all the time. I was all alone here. I didn't want to say a word. I tried ignoring it. I thought maybe I was just freaking out like i did with Beth, my love, my Sabata. Jealousy can be hard to ignore. I have a confession to make Sabata. I tried to cut myself. The night we seperated. I *thought* i knew it was for her. (The rumors didnt help...) I wasn't trying to do it for you. I was mad at myself. I knew i deserved it. I ignored how i felt. and didn't even ask about kaitlyn. I felt all numb. The first few hours after, i couldn't feel anything. I felt... numb. Pure numbness. Like. So insanly sad I was laughing. I couldn't stop myself. My whle body like fell asleep. I just wanted to feel bad about it, instead of being so sad i was actually happy. I guess you know how that feels. I won't talk about it any longer, I"m sure yours was much worse Sabata, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I'm sorry Sabata.

I like this feeling. Living. Don't year Sabata? Living can be so nice. Living is nice, because you can only do it once.

I like living, with you, for you, and only you, always Sabata, always
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